








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 306 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5051 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4142 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4700 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4238 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,007,862 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 612 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiktokeR | 1487 | 0.20 | 43 min |
| #2 | dzef | 514 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | dr thc | 235 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Remi^ | 188 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | S1KE | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |





