








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 663 | 21% |
| Smokes | 952 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 445 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,403 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derrik | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | lil gup | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Hairy | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | krnramen | 52% | 75 |
| #7 | vin | 48% | 83 |
| #8 | mike | 48% | 52 |
| #9 | brandon | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vin | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 8 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Hairy | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | krnramen | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 315 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | vin | 257 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | krnramen | 239 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | sheenmachine | 201 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil gup | +5.00 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | +2.76 | 80 | 79 |
| #3 | vin | +2.49 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Pedro de Pacas | +0.81 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | tuna | +0.42 | 72 | 49 |





