








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 487 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1189 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 847 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,290 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brandon | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | tuna | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | mike | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | vin | 47% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sheenmachine | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | tuna | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | mike | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | vin | 47% | 97 |
| #6 | krnramen | 44% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuna | 13 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | vin | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | krnramen | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | mike | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krnramen | 321 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 321 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | vin | 275 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | mike | 252 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | tuna | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sheenmachine | +3.27 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | vin | +3.22 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | tuna | +0.89 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | mike | -1.66 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | brandon | -2.23 | 58 | 47 |





