










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
99 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 82 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7 | 9% |
| Smokes | 32 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 26 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 17 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $37,373 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anty | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Prí | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | PotentiallyProcuringProtonation | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | gredge | 100% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Prí | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | PotentiallyProcuringProtonation | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | gredge | 100% | 2 |
| #6 | THE VERMINATOR | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE VERMINATOR | 1 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE VERMINATOR | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | Prí | 10 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #3 | gredge | 4 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | PotentiallyProcuringProtonation | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gredge | +6.99 | 68 | 91 |
| #2 | Prí | +5.21 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | The Bacteria Cleanser | +4.90 | 79 | 32 |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | +1.21 | 37 | 21 |
| #5 | Anty | -1.13 | 37 | 38 |





