








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 437 | 31% |
| Smokes | 546 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 337 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 80 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,555 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | george | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | BerryBoi | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | The Bacteria Cleanser | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Anty | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Klomorax | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BerryBoi | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | The Bacteria Cleanser | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Anty | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Klomorax | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | The Poo Devourer | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BerryBoi | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Anty | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | george | 64 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | BerryBoi | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Anty | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | The Poo Devourer | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Klomorax | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bacteria Cleanser | +5.04 | 76 | 36 |
| #2 | george | +4.10 | 67 | 77 |
| #3 | The Poo Devourer | +3.15 | 88 | 27 |
| #4 | Klomorax | +0.42 | 49 | 59 |
| #5 | THE VERMINATOR | -1.26 | 49 | 53 |





