








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
87 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 76 | 25% |
| Smokes | 78 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 73 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,450 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bacteria Cleanser | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Prí | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | PotentiallyProcuringProtonation | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | ChulozN | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bacteria Cleanser | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Prí | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | PotentiallyProcuringProtonation | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | ChulozN | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prí | 34 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #2 | PotentiallyProcuringProtonation | 19 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #3 | ChulozN | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gredge | +5.67 | 61 | 81 |
| #2 | The Bacteria Cleanser | +4.46 | 80 | 12 |
| #3 | Prí | +2.08 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | ♿ Masha Biceps ♿ | -1.16 | 41 | 13 |
| #5 | ChulozN | -1.75 | 81 | 50 |





