








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1316 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1528 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,520 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaydee | 57% | 181 |
| #2 | Poly BJP | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | ApexPredatoRKO | 45% | 62 |
| #4 | O.P. | 40% | 47 |
| #5 | Mad306 | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poly BJP | 22 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | Shaydee | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ApexPredatoRKO | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | O.P. | 4 | 0.0040 |





