








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 9% |
| Smokes | 243 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 162 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 443 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,283 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babatunde Jr. | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Jonathan Scott | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Babatunde | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Lewis | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | T W E N | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jonathan Scott | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Babatunde | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Lewis | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | T W E N | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | Luxzy | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babatunde | 8 | 0.0346 |
| #2 | Babatunde Jr. | 7 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | T W E N | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Luxzy | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Jonathan Scott | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T W E N | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Luxzy | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jonathan Scott | 44 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Babatunde Jr. | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Babatunde | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan Scott | +4.14 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Luxzy | +1.98 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | T W E N | +0.94 | 92 | 67 |
| #4 | Babatunde Jr. | +0.46 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | Babatunde | +0.34 | 91 | 46 |





