








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1837 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1906 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2378 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,650 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albert Felinstein | 63% | 57 |
| #2 | Taylor Swift Lover | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | #SweetTea | 53% | 97 |
| #4 | BucketHead | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | SilraVen | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JS3 | 44% | 107 |
| #8 | Albert D | 43% | 76 |
| #9 | My Zyney Teeth that Sparklee | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | Anubis | 27% | 15 |
| #11 | Dudley__ | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinger | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Albert D | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Albert Felinstein | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | JS3 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | #SweetTea | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinger | 852 | 0.28 | 28 min |
| #2 | #SweetTea | 256 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Albert D | 200 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | JS3 | 180 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Albert Felinstein | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krzy | +2.89 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | Anubis | +2.61 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | Dudley__ | +0.85 | 84 | 44 |
| #4 | Taylor Swift Lover | +0.82 | 63 | 35 |
| #5 | dinger | +0.80 | 75 | 81 |





