








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2182 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2504 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2069 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,308 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | T1Z | 53% | 30 |
| #12 | Bully Magblyat | 48% | 58 |
| #13 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | QuEnEx | 44% | 43 |
| #15 | StyLzTF | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StyLzTF | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Viiper | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | JonSom | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | T1Z | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | El Jointy | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonSom | 228 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | T1Z | 125 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | David :) | 122 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | QuEnEx | 109 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | StyLzTF | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonSom | +3.59 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Er3th0rn | +3.36 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | NiftyJ | +3.26 | 74 | 70 |
| #4 | David :) | +2.02 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | Block | +1.71 | 74 | 60 |





