








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4014 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4597 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3249 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,166 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizbne | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Kayrb | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Rey | 56% | 48 |
| #4 | Jiffz | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | RightHearted | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | CheEZe | 44% | 34 |
| #14 | Globalik | 44% | 39 |
| #15 | Xanax | 42% | 19 |
| #16 | Louj. | 38% | 24 |
| #17 | Columbo Kam | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rey | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Bucks | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Louj. | 7 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Globalik | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Kayrb | 5 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiffz | 228 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Globalik | 159 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | MiKDee🏴 | 158 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr.PapaSmoke 🦄 | 128 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bongo Bongo Boris | 94 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kayrb | +4.73 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | Ian | +4.36 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Bucks | +3.18 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | Xanax | +1.64 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr.PapaSmoke 🦄 | +1.35 | 63 | 58 |





