








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,524 | |
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1401 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1581 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1824 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,076 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akion | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | IZY | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Styvk0 | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | isak | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | Ma Dong-seok | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beng4n | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | isak | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | LaZy GuY | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | akion | 35 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Styvk0 | 27 | 0.10 | 0 min |





