








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1029 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1264 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,752 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cerveja | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | jvz | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | Adulto Jao | 41% | 44 |
| #8 | uMestreDosMagos | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | NikaoGG | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adulto Jao | 202 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Eduardo Cornelio Abrao Filho | 184 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | uMestreDosMagos | 78 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lxst | 63 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduardo Cornelio Abrao Filho | +4.32 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | +3.68 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | Lxst | +2.30 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | jvz | +1.93 | 73 | 33 |
| #5 | NikaoGG | +1.43 | 56 | 66 |





