








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3253 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2048 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2444 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3048 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,375 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | pedro.n | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Cerveja | 51% | 113 |
| #4 | jvz | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | NikaoGG | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Adulto Jao | 49% | 179 |
| #7 | uMestreDosMagos | 46% | 39 |
| #8 | lesLOL | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | Bianquini | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | _kyoto | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NikaoGG | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Adulto Jao | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Cerveja | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | uMestreDosMagos | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | jvz | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adulto Jao | 828 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | NikaoGG | 372 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | uMestreDosMagos | 142 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cerveja | 138 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jvz | +2.05 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | +2.00 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | Lxst | +1.36 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | NikaoGG | +0.83 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | Bianquini | +0.61 | 59 | 57 |





