








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6044 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5928 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5316 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5101 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,492 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RunAwayChicken | 52% | 191 |
| #5 | kinzz | 52% | 252 |
| #6 | iGot5 | 51% | 127 |
| #7 | riot_^ | 41% | 49 |
| #8 | XIII | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iGot5 #OOFK | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | kinzz | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | iGot5 | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | RunAwayChicken | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | XIII | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kinzz | 700 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | iGot5 #OOFK | 617 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | RunAwayChicken | 379 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | iGot5 | 336 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | ph34r! | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |





