








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 7% |
| Smokes | 312 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 922 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 620 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,549 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph34r! | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | RunAwayChicken | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | iGot5 #OOFK | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | iGot5 | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | ☂eZ | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | iGot5 #OOFK | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | iGot5 | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | ☂eZ | 40% | 80 |
| #6 | kinzz | 40% | 58 |
| #7 | riot_^ | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kinzz | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ☂eZ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | RunAwayChicken | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | riot_^ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | iGot5 | 1 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂eZ | 237 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | kinzz | 144 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | iGot5 #OOFK | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | RunAwayChicken | 49 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ph34r! | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph34r! | +2.60 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | RunAwayChicken | +0.95 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | ☂eZ | +0.26 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | iGot5 #OOFK | +0.17 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | iGot5 | +0.09 | 68 | 65 |





