








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 515 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5328 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6188 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6963 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4935 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,467,544 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ivek | 49% | 274 |
| #4 | d1NO | 49% | 136 |
| #5 | nickz- | 49% | 408 |
| #6 | KRT™Raqizio | 48% | 137 |
| #7 | Gia | 47% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickz- | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Ivek | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | d1NO | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | mttxinho- | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | KRT™Raqizio | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickz- | 1012 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | mttxinho- | 576 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Ivek | 501 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | KRT™Raqizio | 393 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | Gia | 347 | 0.09 | 10 min |





