








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3194 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2590 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2012 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1547 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,658 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | JachPot | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | he's coming | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | VikesCatgirl | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | JachPot | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | he's coming | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | VikesCatgirl | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JachPot | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | he's coming | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | VikesCatgirl | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JachPot | 208 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | he's coming | 86 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 67 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | VikesCatgirl | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | +1.79 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | b0xx | +0.69 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | VikesCatgirl | +0.09 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | he's coming | -1.12 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | JachPot | -1.14 | 42 | 53 |





