








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 230 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4291 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2754 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2389 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2704 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,782 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nwk. | 79% | 34 |
| #2 | Pachâ | 77% | 26 |
| #3 | ExTaZz | 73% | 146 |
| #4 | legendou | 68% | 150 |
| #5 | Squ4lli | 68% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ExTaZz | 73% | 146 |
| #4 | legendou | 68% | 150 |
| #5 | Squ4lli | 68% | 96 |
| #6 | ✩ TrD | 66% | 83 |
| #7 | Dave *Noot Noot* | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExTaZz | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | nwk. | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExTaZz | 602 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | legendou | 463 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | ✩ TrD | 269 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Squ4lli | 245 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pachâ | 101 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipointcarbine --° | +1.75 | 82 | 77 |
| #2 | Pachâ | +1.10 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | ExTaZz | +0.95 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | legendou | +0.71 | 85 | 70 |
| #5 | nwk. | +0.68 | 62 | 59 |





