








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 713 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 397 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5445 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4375 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4644 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4179 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,929,853 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipointcarbine --° | 68% | 150 |
| #2 | ExTaZz | 65% | 200 |
| #3 | Squ4lli | 64% | 143 |
| #4 | nwk. | 63% | 60 |
| #5 | Pachâ | 62% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nwk. | 63% | 60 |
| #5 | Pachâ | 62% | 47 |
| #6 | ✩ TrD | 61% | 117 |
| #7 | Noob | 58% | 31 |
| #8 | DkL | 53% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExTaZz | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Squ4lli | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | nwk. | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | hipointcarbine --° | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | DkL | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExTaZz | 990 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #2 | hipointcarbine --° | 911 | 0.30 | 25 min |
| #3 | ✩ TrD | 482 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Squ4lli | 419 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | DkL | 382 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipointcarbine --° | +1.62 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | legendou | +0.93 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | ExTaZz | +0.83 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | Pachâ | +0.47 | 86 | 68 |
| #5 | DkL | +0.35 | 80 | 60 |





