








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 630 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12366 | 31% |
| Smokes | 11178 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7699 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 8391 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,852 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipointcarbine --° | 73% | 146 |
| #2 | Vizeo ShoZa | 70% | 57 |
| #3 | Squ4lli | 70% | 191 |
| #4 | legendou | 65% | 200 |
| #5 | Pachâ | 62% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ottman | 57% | 42 |
| #9 | ✩ TrD | 55% | 381 |
| #10 | KARMQXE | 55% | 153 |
| #11 | BeNNNNN ♿ ⛟ | 53% | 47 |
| #12 | db* | 52% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nwk. | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Noob | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ✩ TrD | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | db* | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | hipointcarbine --° | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩ TrD | 1748 | 0.21 | 43 min |
| #2 | hipointcarbine --° | 872 | 0.29 | 24 min |
| #3 | legendou | 736 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #4 | nwk. | 625 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | KARMQXE | 551 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipointcarbine --° | +2.43 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | ExTaZz | +1.25 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Pachâ | +1.03 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | Ottman | +0.71 | 66 | 79 |
| #5 | legendou | +0.62 | 84 | 71 |





