








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 530 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2013 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5382 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6092 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4346 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,554,786 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miksterikiksteri | 54% | 234 |
| #2 | Temssii | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Viinaministeri | 51% | 325 |
| #4 | Dentist | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Hatine | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miksterikiksteri | 54% | 234 |
| #2 | Temssii | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Viinaministeri | 51% | 325 |
| #4 | Dentist | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Hatine | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miksterikiksteri | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Hatine | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Viinaministeri | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Temssii | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miksterikiksteri | 332 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Viinaministeri | 122 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #3 | Temssii | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hatine | 47 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dentist | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miksterikiksteri | +2.51 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Bloodhound | +1.97 | 61 | 47 |
| #3 | Dentist | +1.34 | 70 | 29 |
| #4 | Hatine | -0.92 | 36 | 25 |
| #5 | Temssii | -1.38 | 39 | 55 |





