








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1642 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1853 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2057 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1275 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,276 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlick | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Burch | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | Striker-Nick | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Send Fart Pics | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | de_orphan23 | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Burch | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | Striker-Nick | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Send Fart Pics | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | de_orphan23 | 44% | 86 |
| #6 | FkN | Ambassadors Grave | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de_orphan23 | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Send Fart Pics | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Qlick | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Burch | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de_orphan23 | 315 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Striker-Nick | 121 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Send Fart Pics | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Qlick | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Burch | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlick | +5.90 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | Burch | +2.92 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | Striker-Nick | +1.69 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | Send Fart Pics | -0.22 | 54 | 45 |
| #5 | BigSexy69 | -0.32 | 52 | 32 |





