








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2049 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1465 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1204 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1092 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,068 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Smidskog | 56% | 71 |
| #7 | 23 | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | SK1PP3R | 53% | 38 |
| #9 | Steffan | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | HASSANexe | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabfabi | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | JUMPER | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | SK1PP3R | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | 23 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Steffan | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabfabi | 429 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lucas | 230 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | SK1PP3R | 225 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | JUMPER | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Smidskog | 81 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucas | +2.96 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | fabfabi | +1.63 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | 23 | +0.96 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | SK1PP3R | +0.66 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Adam_Nice | +0.10 | 60 | 64 |





