








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1979 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2814 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3156 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,871,620 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VexiiL | 46% | 39 |
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 45% | 201 |
| #3 | Jay Lunar | 44% | 337 |
| #4 | ohhhh | 43% | 160 |
| #5 | ILikeTurtles | 41% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 45% | 201 |
| #3 | Jay Lunar | 44% | 337 |
| #4 | ohhhh | 43% | 160 |
| #5 | ILikeTurtles | 41% | 343 |
| #6 | ^9pranQ | 35% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILikeTurtles | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Jay Lunar | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ohhhh | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | (^o^)Bourbon | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | VexiiL | 5 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay Lunar | 1131 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 645 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | ILikeTurtles | 430 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #4 | ^9pranQ | 295 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | ohhhh | 240 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^9pranQ | +3.09 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | ohhhh | +2.77 | 78 | 43 |
| #3 | (^o^)Bourbon | +2.07 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Jay Lunar | +0.24 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | VexiiL | -0.31 | 68 | 53 |





