








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5094 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4400 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3131 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3388 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,122,009 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ILikeTurtles | 45% | 295 |
| #8 | VexiiL | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | ohhhh | 42% | 118 |
| #10 | ^9pranQ | 42% | 121 |
| #11 | NelC | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILikeTurtles | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Jay Lunar | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ohhhh | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Hero | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ^9pranQ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay Lunar | 956 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | iEskimobro | 422 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | ^9pranQ | 355 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | ILikeTurtles | 342 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | r0gers | 300 | 0.16 | 11 min |





