








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2841 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3968 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3259 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,435,692 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay Lunar | 46% | 552 |
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 45% | 295 |
| #3 | ohhhh | 44% | 216 |
| #4 | ^9pranQ | 42% | 133 |
| #5 | iEskimobro | 41% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay Lunar | 46% | 552 |
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 45% | 295 |
| #3 | ohhhh | 44% | 216 |
| #4 | ^9pranQ | 42% | 133 |
| #5 | iEskimobro | 41% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay Lunar | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ohhhh | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ^9pranQ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | iEskimobro | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay Lunar | 1878 | 0.17 | 52 min |
| #2 | (^o^)Bourbon | 922 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #3 | iEskimobro | 658 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | ^9pranQ | 401 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | ohhhh | 325 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^9pranQ | +2.71 | 70 | 54 |
| #2 | ohhhh | +2.18 | 77 | 45 |
| #3 | (^o^)Bourbon | +1.97 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Jay Lunar | +0.57 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | iEskimobro | -1.83 | 25 | 39 |





