








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3025 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1719 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1326 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,825 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Elyon | 49% | 108 |
| #7 | tmu | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | Hupski ^_^ | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | FroZen | 41% | 56 |
| #10 | Perryyy | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FroZen | 11 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | vAALtsu | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Perryyy | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Ishkander | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Elyon | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elyon | 603 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | vAALtsu | 348 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ishkander | 235 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | voois | 205 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | tmu | 177 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishkander | +3.37 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | vAALtsu | +2.75 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | voois | +2.19 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | FroZen | +1.24 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Hupski ^_^ | +0.98 | 67 | 54 |





