








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 915 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2190 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2159 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2217 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1961 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,514 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 983 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmu | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Ishkander | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | vAALtsu | 53% | 191 |
| #4 | Hupski ^_^ | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | voois | 50% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAALtsu | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Ishkander | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | IpZ | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Elyon | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | voois | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAALtsu | 921 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | Elyon | 509 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | voois | 478 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | IpZ | 402 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #5 | Ishkander | 379 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAALtsu | +2.44 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | Ishkander | +2.41 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | tmu | +1.11 | 66 | 78 |
| #4 | voois | +0.52 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | FroZen | +0.19 | 79 | 57 |





