








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2365 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4400 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3010 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2990 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,899,198 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VöFflaN <3 | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | (1)Player | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | prins | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | Rockfarmor|N| | 54% | 97 |
| #5 | Alle^Ops | 53% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | COLI7O | 46% | 92 |
| #13 | jeppeotur | 45% | 185 |
| #14 | Nordman | 45% | 149 |
| #15 | ✪ Mayo | 43% | 120 |
| #16 | knodas | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeppeotur | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Alle^Ops | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | COLI7O | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Rockfarmor|N| | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ✪ Mayo | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alle^Ops | 625 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Nordman | 413 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | jeppeotur | 383 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | Rockfarmor|N| | 363 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Se ri pack | 320 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VöFflaN <3 | +3.16 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Rockfarmor|N| | +2.52 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Alle^Ops | +1.75 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | COLI7O | +1.14 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | (1)Player | +0.92 | 75 | 73 |





