








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,859 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3975 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3726 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3952 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2600 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,348 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VöFflaN <3 | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | Se ri pack | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Rockfarmor|N| | 55% | 102 |
| #4 | SWH-BrunteBrutal | 53% | 165 |
| #5 | 1znolee|N| | 52% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VöFflaN <3 | +2.97 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | Alle^Ops | +1.37 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Rockfarmor|N| | +1.34 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | maXer-the-relaXer | +0.77 | 87 | 63 |
| #5 | 1znolee|N| | +0.46 | 70 | 62 |





