








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,609 | |
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4899 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3828 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4807 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2974 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,763 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeppeotur | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ✪ Mayo | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | COLI7O | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | SWH-BrunteBrutal | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Gubb1sh ♿ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeppeotur | 803 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | COLI7O | 395 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gubb1sh ♿ | 246 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | knodas | 213 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Knuta | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |





