








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 499 | 25% |
| Smokes | 577 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 397 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,836 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗲 Cookiezz 🗲 | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | SPECTER | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | zxn | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Lord Schn33 | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | Ch0Ps | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Schn33 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | SPECTER | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | zxn | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 🗲 Cookiezz 🗲 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Ch0Ps | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPECTER | 157 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | 🗲 Cookiezz 🗲 | 110 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | zxn | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ch0Ps | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lord Schn33 | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Schn33 | +1.13 | 57 | 49 |
| #2 | Feyyaz | +0.50 | 62 | 57 |
| #3 | SPECTER | -0.15 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | 🗲 Cookiezz 🗲 | -0.42 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | zxn | -0.86 | 66 | 46 |





