








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5181 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4657 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4666 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4706 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,851,308 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fish Bummin A square | 62% | 74 |
| #2 | stoiven💎 | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Bartholomew | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | demarcus demetrious the 3ʳᵈ | 54% | 78 |
| #5 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 50% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | demarcus demetrious the 3ʳᵈ | 54% | 78 |
| #5 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 50% | 76 |
| #6 | thugboat | 45% | 73 |
| #7 | Addy | 44% | 87 |
| #8 | Owska | 44% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demarcus demetrious the 3ʳᵈ | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | thugboat | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Bartholomew | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Fish Bummin A square | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoiven💎 | 395 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | Bartholomew | 352 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Owska | 251 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | demarcus demetrious the 3ʳᵈ | 230 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fish Bummin A square | 198 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fish Bummin A square | +1.58 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | gone | +1.27 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | Bartholomew | +0.67 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | +0.12 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | demarcus demetrious the 3ʳᵈ | -0.03 | 53 | 65 |





