








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 715 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3310 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3013 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4502 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3081 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,021 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1698 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hank | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Kifner | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | gone | 54% | 78 |
| #5 | <9 Fl8tio✌ | 54% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KillShot | 49% | 135 |
| #9 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 48% | 79 |
| #10 | SM41L1K | 46% | 48 |
| #11 | thugboat | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Owska | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hank | 10 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | <9 Fl8tio✌ | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | KillShot | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | gone | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | thugboat | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0Gravity | 258 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 248 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | <9 Fl8tio✌ | 237 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kifner | 170 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | gone | 126 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SM41L1K | +2.87 | 69 | 43 |
| #2 | Zer0Gravity | +2.02 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | gone | +1.23 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Owska | +0.56 | 81 | 40 |
| #5 | demarcus demetrious the 3ʳᵈ | +0.31 | 54 | 64 |





