








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Wingman | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6026 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5866 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3151 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3725 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,460,573 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jmr | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | Addy | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | FireMonster_Tv | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | M A X | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | FireMonster_Tv | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | M A X | 48% | 122 |
| #6 | thugboat | 46% | 136 |
| #7 | gone | 44% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thugboat | 30 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | gone | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | FireMonster_Tv | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | M A X | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A X | 235 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | thugboat | 150 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | gone | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | jmr | 136 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | 113 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jmr | +2.61 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | FireMonster_Tv | +2.04 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | Owska | +0.50 | 71 | 44 |
| #4 | gone | +0.49 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ zaza enthusiast | +0.05 | 54 | 54 |





