








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 12% |
| Smokes | 622 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 969 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,369 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shronk | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | steve jobless | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Sherlock | 45% | 62 |
| #4 | Shinee Magikarp | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | TSPOON | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | steve jobless | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Sherlock | 45% | 62 |
| #4 | Shinee Magikarp | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | TSPOON | 44% | 68 |
| #6 | bEETLe | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherlock | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | TSPOON | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | steve jobless | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Shronk | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TSPOON | 582 | 0.40 | 13 min |
| #2 | steve jobless | 136 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sherlock | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shinee Magikarp | 120 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | bEETLe | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shronk | +4.36 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | TSPOON | +1.28 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | Shinee Magikarp | +1.23 | 72 | 37 |
| #4 | steve jobless | -1.13 | 40 | 67 |
| #5 | Onion Eater | -1.26 | 29 | 50 |





