








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1081 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7435 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7896 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 11289 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 12083 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,550,259 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b | 62% | 98 |
| #2 | meps | 54% | 217 |
| #3 | barf | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | Gaz | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | ss | 52% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | barf | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | Gaz | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | ss | 52% | 161 |
| #6 | ♿AJ | 49% | 128 |
| #7 | Hellsing | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaz | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | meps | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | b | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ss | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | barf | 9 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿AJ | 435 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | ss | 386 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gaz | 288 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | meps | 274 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hellsing | 255 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b | +5.46 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Gaz | +2.51 | 88 | 48 |
| #3 | Hellsing | +2.39 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | barf | +2.28 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | ss | +0.99 | 82 | 62 |





