








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3089 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2896 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3372 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3494 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,895,419 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dee | 72% | 32 |
| #2 | dom | 70% | 44 |
| #3 | hakk | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | BenitoThaGod | 65% | 57 |
| #5 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 62% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BenitoThaGod | 65% | 57 |
| #5 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 62% | 101 |
| #6 | barf | 59% | 46 |
| #7 | migi | 54% | 217 |
| #8 | Hellsing | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barf | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | migi | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | hakk | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Hellsing | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | migi | 218 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 156 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | dom | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | hakk | 87 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hellsing | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakk | +2.93 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Hellsing | +2.27 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | cH1ddy BaNg! | +1.91 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | barf | +1.79 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | meps | +0.33 | 60 | 56 |





