








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1256 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1279 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 952 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,000 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓙𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Chef B | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | ★𝓥𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓝™ | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | VeeBiiz ツ | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | F3L_450 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chef B | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | ★𝓥𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓝™ | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | VeeBiiz ツ | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | F3L_450 | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | ★ Papy™ | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef B | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | 𝓙𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ★ Papy™ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | VeeBiiz ツ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef B | 118 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | ★ Papy™ | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | 𝓙𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | VeeBiiz ツ | 66 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | F3L_450 | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeeBiiz ツ | +5.83 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | Chef B | +1.34 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | ★𝓥𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓝™ | +0.12 | 42 | 63 |
| #4 | ★ Papy™ | +0.07 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | F3L_450 | +0.01 | 61 | 60 |





