








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1022 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1813 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2466 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,845 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixL | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | -Xavi3R | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | COPPERDINO | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | saN | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | ★𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮™ | 62% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝓙𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 | 58% | 50 |
| #8 | ™★SuB★ | 56% | 16 |
| #9 | ★ Papy™ | 56% | 131 |
| #10 | Chef B | 54% | 39 |
| #11 | ₵ⱠⱫ ₭Ɽ₳₳ⱫɎ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮™ | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ★ Papy™ | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Chef B | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | -Xavi3R | 4 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | 𝓙𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Papy™ | 390 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Chef B | 154 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | 𝓙𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 | 144 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | ★𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮™ | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | saN | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮™ | +4.09 | 74 | 78 |
| #2 | pixL | +2.88 | 61 | 79 |
| #3 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450] ★ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | +2.19 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | -Xavi3R | +1.97 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | COPPERDINO | +1.45 | 73 | 34 |





