








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 795 | 25% |
| Smokes | 811 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 875 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,286 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noccturnal♡ | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | CY0NiK | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | JTILL | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Snow | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Sanity | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noccturnal♡ | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | CY0NiK | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | JTILL | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Snow | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Sanity | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noccturnal♡ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | JTILL | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CY0NiK | 207 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | JTILL | 84 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Noccturnal♡ | 66 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sanity | 63 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Snow | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InsTinctZ | +3.10 | 92 | 47 |
| #2 | Noccturnal♡ | +2.81 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | CY0NiK | +1.49 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | Sanity | -1.47 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | JTILL | -1.62 | 66 | 58 |





