








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 539 | 26% |
| Smokes | 518 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,002 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nenä-PEEK | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | JonTuu | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | P | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Temuzzi | 88% | 8 |
| #5 | kurwa bober | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | P | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Temuzzi | 88% | 8 |
| #5 | kurwa bober | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | Saunakalja | 60% | 30 |
| #7 | TERMINAATTORI | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saunakalja | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | TERMINAATTORI | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saunakalja | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | TERMINAATTORI | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Temuzzi | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | P | 16 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | kurwa bober | 14 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nenä-PEEK | +7.92 | 64 | 40 |
| #2 | JonTuu | +7.60 | 93 | 75 |
| #3 | Temuzzi | +4.75 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | Saunakalja | +1.36 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Jape | +0.90 | 57 | 61 |





