








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1196 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1694 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1418 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1554 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,636 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jeangotti | 41% | 27 |
| #11 | Parabr | 36% | 11 |
| #12 | Gravy | 36% | 22 |
| #13 | Doran | 35% | 23 |
| #14 | ✪AnOn | 35% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪AnOn | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | beretta | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | fleats | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | kuyaharrison | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Fxbric | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beretta | 247 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪AnOn | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | kuyaharrison | 133 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fxbric | 131 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | fleats | 129 | 0.16 | 2 min |





