








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5413 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5100 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3107 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4257 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,610 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FliXi™ | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | moehk | 58% | 188 |
| #3 | Pip | 57% | 141 |
| #4 | twinyx | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | Squeezy | 55% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Squeezy | 55% | 206 |
| #6 | Youkker | 54% | 117 |
| #7 | supremjo | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | Nickson | 50% | 32 |
| #9 | 2 | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pip | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | moehk | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Youkker | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Squeezy | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Nickson | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeezy | 806 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | moehk | 467 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Pip | 344 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Youkker | 297 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | twinyx | 197 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k3yto. | +1.96 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | FliXi™ | +0.44 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | Squeezy | +0.33 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | supremjo | +0.20 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | twinyx | +0.04 | 86 | 74 |





