








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1386 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1515 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,376 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✧ ・: OLIVER :・ ✧ | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | o renegado | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | COCK | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | 4NUBIS | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | |Mágiko| | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | |Mágiko| | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | shipy | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | x1. Imperator [st] | 40% | 35 |
| #8 | Jalalero Leelala | 40% | 45 |
| #9 | Jonas | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jalalero Leelala | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | |Mágiko| | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | x1. Imperator [st] | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | shipy | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | o renegado | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o renegado | 140 | 0.38 | 3 min |
| #2 | COCK | 137 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | shipy | 95 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jalalero Leelala | 60 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | |Mágiko| | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shipy | +3.40 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | o renegado | +1.38 | 51 | 62 |
| #3 | |Mágiko| | +0.50 | 75 | 44 |
| #4 | PSCL | +0.43 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | x1. Imperator [st] | -0.34 | 73 | 41 |





