








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2091 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1760 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,051 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goatis | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Mbaku | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Japansk Shuffi | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | M4gneten | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | 4-0 til Palle | 46% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mbaku | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Japansk Shuffi | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | M4gneten | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | 4-0 til Palle | 46% | 127 |
| #6 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 45% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4-0 til Palle | 36 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Japansk Shuffi | 16 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | M4gneten | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Goatis | 3 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4-0 til Palle | 694 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | Japansk Shuffi | 294 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 238 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mbaku | 67 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | M4gneten | 50 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japansk Shuffi | +5.28 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | +2.98 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | M4gneten | +1.87 | 70 | 69 |
| #4 | Goatis | +0.82 | 59 | 38 |
| #5 | Fri Abdi | -1.27 | 42 | 62 |





