








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1063 | 25% |
| Smokes | 727 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1228 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1199 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,749 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japansk Shuffi | 65% | 82 |
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Fri Abdi | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | Ziggerdindame | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japansk Shuffi | 65% | 82 |
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Fri Abdi | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | Ziggerdindame | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4-0 til Palle | 40 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Fri Abdi | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Japansk Shuffi | 16 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Ziggerdindame | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4-0 til Palle | 630 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | Japansk Shuffi | 427 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | Fri Abdi | 355 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ziggerdindame | 94 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japansk Shuffi | +7.83 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | +2.51 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | Fri Abdi | -1.40 | 47 | 63 |
| #4 | MENTAL_DAYZ | -1.87 | 49 | 44 |
| #5 | Ziggerdindame | -5.08 | 18 | 50 |





