








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 119 | 29% |
| Smokes | 139 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 81 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,083 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ka1Zer | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Ford Femboy | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | ๎ | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Pinguඞ♿ | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | jesser pinkman | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ka1Zer | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Ford Femboy | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | ๎ | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Pinguඞ♿ | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | jesser pinkman | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๎ | 2 | 0.0339 |
| #2 | Pinguඞ♿ | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ford Femboy | 27 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | Ka1Zer | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pinguඞ♿ | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | ๎ | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | jesser pinkman | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๎ | +1.98 | 67 | 32 |
| #2 | Mountain Monk | +1.02 | 37 | 39 |
| #3 | Ford Femboy | +0.03 | 57 | 30 |
| #4 | Ka1Zer | -0.70 | 59 | 35 |
| #5 | jesser pinkman | -2.39 | 29 | 12 |





