








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4216 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3625 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2579 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2429 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,048 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 946 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nstaa | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | Darkgreyhound | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | dylshy | 50% | 141 |
| #4 | Lee McG123 | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | GreyHAM | 46% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | GreyHAM | 46% | 115 |
| #6 | herona1 | 42% | 109 |
| #7 | Gra1gyS | 39% | 74 |
| #8 | Ayo Retty Frunk | 38% | 26 |
| #9 | :3 | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herona1 | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | dylshy | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Gra1gyS | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Darkgreyhound | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Lee McG123 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dylshy | 555 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Gra1gyS | 249 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lee McG123 | 182 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | m0nstaa | 159 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | herona1 | 99 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nstaa | +4.66 | 95 | 56 |
| #2 | dylshy | +1.88 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | Señor Loowis | +1.52 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Lee McG123 | -1.00 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | GreyHAM | -1.26 | 44 | 46 |





